


i'm praying you don't see the signs

by cobblestaubrey



Series: c'est la vie [8]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Pining, this ship makes sense OKAY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28166295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cobblestaubrey/pseuds/cobblestaubrey
Summary: "The biggest surprise of her senior year is definitely Crystal’s text from a month ago, asking her if they could meet up and “maybe talk about what happened” (which she pointedly, and proudly, ignored), but the second biggest surprise is Rock."Gigi hates Pre-Calculus, and Pre-Calculus hates Gigi.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Rock M Sakura
Series: c'est la vie [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1979863
Comments: 8
Kudos: 11





	i'm praying you don't see the signs

**Author's Note:**

> This ship MAKES SENSE!! (According to the way I interpret and write Gigi, at least. Trust me. Rock's sense of humor and Gigi's sense of humor, as well as what they're looking for in a partner, match perfectly)

Fucking precalculus. It’s the one stain on Gigi’s perfect schedule. She _should_ be in Calculus, but seventh grade geometry kicked her ass, so she’s stuck here, with seniors who still call multiplying “timesing” and juniors who think they’re better than her. 

The teacher goes at a snail’s pace, yet half the students are still holding a D average, and Gigi doesn’t think she can stand one more day of this class, let alone three months. It’s mid-March, now, and when she cranes her head to look outside, she can see the snow has started melting, little by little. 

Above her, the lights buzz, but it doesn’t help her. Coupled with the monotonous droning of her teacher, she finds her head a little too comfortable on the palm of her hand. One sheep, two sheep, three - fuck, is someone calling her name?

“Genevieve,” is whispered harshly into her right ear, so suddenly that she snaps to attention, both of her hands now gripping the sides of her desk.

She should be mad, but when she turns and sees it’s just Rock ( _obviously_ , she thinks to herself, _she sits right next to you_ ), the tension dissipates, though her heart is still racing. 

The biggest surprise of her senior year is _definitely_ Crystal’s text from a month ago, asking her if they could meet up and “maybe talk about what happened” (which she pointedly, and proudly, ignored), but the second biggest surprise is Rock.

Right after the New Year, their seats were rearranged (which dragged Gigi away from Symone and Kade, unnecessarily in her opinion), and put her right next to Rock, and right behind Jan. The three had sat at three separate points in the classroom before, due to a multitude of reasons. 

Gigi had originally seen this as a punishment, but as it turned out, Rock is almost _nothing_ like Jackie described her. Well, that’s not right. Rock is just… so much _more_.

Jackie said the pink haired girl was dorky, easily amused, but a bit jaded, after a lot of shit that happened to her over high school. Those are all true, Gigi knows that, but it’s like the casing of that dorky lunch box Rock still brings to school with _Sailor Moon_ on it. Sure, it looks childish and a bit worn down, but inside are pot brownies and a genuinely good time.

Not a “good time” like _that_ , but… you know. She makes math bearable, with her laugh like a rusty pipe, but that vibrant smile that accompanies it. Rock will whisper jokes and comments throughout the entire class - sarcastic quips or passing judgements - it pisses Gigi off, only because she’s been told off several times for laughing too loud. 

Sometimes, Gigi wonders how Nicky could have passed her up. 

Other times, Gigi pushes down thoughts like that. 

A shrill sound begins playing as Rock scrapes her desk against the floor, pushing it into Gigi’s. The brunette must have missed something, because suddenly Jan’s turning her desk and slamming it against Gigi’s, too. 

Oh, right. Jan is there, as well. She’ll add a few comments every now and then, join them in finishing up worksheets, but she’s focused on class most of the time and her perfect GPA. 

“Worksheets, again,” Rock rolls her eyes, miming a gun to her head, and it’s unnecessarily morbid, but it makes Gigi laugh anyway. She puts in her earbuds, still with the wire attached (“ _Airpods_ are a waste of money,” Rock always tells her), and Gigi appreciates that even though she’s clearly off in her own world, she always moves her desk next to Gigi’s. 

“Let me listen,” Gigi says, taking Rock’s left earbud without even checking to make sure the girl heard her. It doesn’t matter, Rock always lets her. 

Sometimes, Rock tells her things Jackie hasn’t already said, which always is a welcomed surprise. One of those things was the abundance of playlists the two have made for every mood and every part of their life, which they share and add to over months. Sometimes, when Gigi listens, it’s Rock’s freshman year, full of pop punk and societal desperation. The bass note digs into her lungs, but it’s upbeat and has enough screaming to distract her. Other times, it’s Rocks’ junior year, right after prom. Jackie was hurting, Rock was hurting, _Gigi_ was hurting. Those are the afternoons she scoots closer to Rock, if only to crane her head away, looking out the window, and picturing all of those nights a million times over. 

The freckles that dust Crystal’s cheeks fade, day by day. Gigi thinks it’s a sign, because the world that reminded her of Crystal no longer exists, but just reminds Gigi of life, and living it. 

Still… Crystal was her first and only love. She longs for nights of lying in someone’s arms, breathing in the air they breathe, being let into every recess of someone’s heart and mind just because they want you to love them for everything they are. Everyone and their mother has called her a coldhearted bitch, but she knows she just wants to be loved like everyone else. She just doesn’t know anyone else who could love her. 

A song starts playing on the newest playlist that makes Gigi laugh. It’s overly sappy, and Rock immediately fumbles with her phone to try and change the song. Gigi drops her pencil, swiftly capturing Rock’s wrist between her fingers. The contact is new, but she sort of likes the softness of the shorter girl’s skin. Gigi finds her own hands are freezing, always, but Rock’s skin is almost the direct opposite, burning against her touch. 

It warms her up, but not just because of the general laws of thermodynamics. 

Ugh. She has chemistry last period. 

Rock looks up at her, caught in the act, that signature blush kissing both of her cheeks. “It’s not mine,” she speaks immediately, her eyes wide. 

Gigi simpers, raising an eyebrow and leaning closer. “Oh, really?”

Jan’s watching, Gigi can see out of the corner of her eye. The blonde is looking between the two, but Gigi is much more interested in Rock, whose lips are slightly parted.

“Jackie put it here, she’s - she’s a total sap, dude,” she laughs.

As soon as it started, the moment’s over, because _Jan_ is _watching_ , 

The two pull away, Rock’s earbud slipping out of her ear, but Gigi’s eyes are glued to her own worksheet now. The silence nips gently at Gigi, making the weight of Jan’s stare insufferable. 

There is nothing. Then - “How is she?” 

Jan speaks so softly, Gigi just barely hears it, but she does. 

“Um,” Gigi mumbles, drawing out the ‘m’. She has nothing to say. Jackie is… falling? 

Gigi can remember, just barely, the faint image of Jackie, falling in love with Jan. It feels like years ago, now, but it was only sometime after the first day of autumn, junior year. One study session, after Jackie had offered to help Gigi in biology, the girl began talking of her first dates with Jan. 

It wasn’t unprompted - Gigi asked what it was like to be public with another girl (how Jackie never questioned Gigi’s motives, Gigi will never know, but she will forever be grateful) - and Jackie answered. It wasn’t what she was _saying_ that meant anything, _how_ she said it. 

Jackie speaks with her hands, it’s something anyone can see. In those moments, though, the way she gestured was so lovely, so smooth. Her eyes were off in space, lit up like the first strike of a match, but she didn’t even know what she was talking about was love. She just spoke about how Jan’s hand in hers kept her grounded, and how all she wanted to do was try for Jan, just to be the best Jackie she could be. So Jan didn’t have to worry about her all too much. 

Jackie will rarely talk about Nicky, though, but Gigi can’t blame her. Falling is no longer free, for people like them. People who have been broken before. There are no trust falls, anymore, because you’re always wondering if they’re going to catch you before you hit the ground. 

Gigi still has no answer for Jan, but she can feel Rock knock their knees together under the table, so she subtly looks over. Rock is giving her the most “is Jan fucking kidding us right now?” look she’s ever seen, and Gigi’s willing to get in trouble, now, just to give Rock the laugh she deserves. 

“Fuck you guys,” Jan huffs. Gigi tenses at how harsh her words are.

Gigi rolls her eyes, pulling herself back into the center of her chair. “A little sensitive over Miss Cox?”

“I still care about her.”

Rock does a little sound under her breath, like a drowning hiccup, before whispering, “Little late for that.”

Jan pointedly ignores her, turning herself to fully face Gigi. “Does Olivia have a date to prom?” 

Rock sends Gigi a look that almost sends the brunette into another laughing fit. She calms down just enough to wipe the glare off of Jan’s face. “She… does _not_ like you.” 

Jan furrows her brows, pulling away slowly. “But... she asked me to be her Chem partner?”

“Because you have an A.”

“But-”

“For fuck’s sake, you don’t love every girl who talks to you.” 

Gigi doesn’t register the words that come out of her mouth until they’re out. Gigi would say she’s being protective of Jackie, but Jackie doesn’t give as much of a shit about who Jan likes as she used to. 

“Whoa,” Jan pulls back again, raising her hands. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You don’t even know if you loved the only girl who’s ever loved you. How the fuck are you supposed to know how you feel about anyone?”

That was a low blow, Gigi can see that from the way Jan’s eyes flash, and her face morphs into a pitiful grimace.

Rock raises an eyebrow, looking between the two. “Gigi…?”

“Why are you being so mean?” Jan says thickly.

“Because- fuck, Jan!” Gigi sighs, “You’ve already broken one heart, and you’re gonna break even more if you can’t figure this out.”

“Where is this coming from?”

“We had to deal with Jackie _again_.”

Jan scoffs, looking between the two. Something is building up inside her, her movements just a few degrees off of sporadic. “You can’t be serious. I thought you were on my side?”

Rock finally speaks up. “No one has ever been on your side about Jackie.”

“Oh yeah, because Jackie is just so innocent here.”

Time stands still just for a second. They’re raising their voices, Gigi knows it, half of the class is watching, but she can’t be bothered to give a fuck. Her life, along with everyone else she knows, has been in the spotlight for far too long for her to care.

She still takes that moment, lets out a deep breath, and brings her volume down.

“Are… Are you serious?” She starts, silently begging Jan to take it back. The blonde’s expression never wavers, so she bites back a scathing comment, and instead just asks, “The fuck did Jackie do?”

“As if she actually likes Nicky. Isn’t it obvious?”

Rarely has Gigi seen something so shockingly innocent from Jackie, especially after all that the girl has been through. Rarely has Gigi seen Jackie's guard be let down, ever so slightly, just to let someone in who lights her up like golden hour. 

That beauty is unmistakable. 

“Alright, Sherlock, let’s hear it." She leans back in her chair, waiting for Jan's _Magnum Opus_ of a response.

“She’s- you don't see it? She is _trying_ to make me jealous." 

Gigi and Rock turn their heads just ever so slightly towards each other. In a glance, Gigi raises an eyebrow, and Rock gives her a defeated eye roll. 

"I know it sounds stupid," Jan starts again, her voice strained. "but I _saw_ her, she- she like, looked at me, and then at Nicky, and..." Jan trails off, her words softening until they break at the end. 

Insanity, Gigi thinks, might be miles ahead of delusion. 

“Jan, you’re cool, seriously, but… Come on." Rock bites her lip, letting her eyes flicker to Gigi, before going back to Jan’s own. Her voice has grown tentative; she's trying not to scare Jan away. “I think you just _are_ jealous.”

Just for a moment, Gigi can see Jan falter. The blonde’s shoulders are cut from whatever string is keeping them taut, and her mouth is open, but nothing comes out.

One, two, three-

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Gigi sighs. The silence was nice while it lasted.

Looking between Rock and Jan, she can see both of their expressions hard and unwavering. Rock is the first to look away, letting out a short, heated breath that creates the full stop to end the conversation. She rolls her eyes painfully, glaring down at her worksheet. “Whatever, dude. Sorry.”

Rock is waving a white flag that she has stolen from Jan's back pocket.

Gigi spends the rest of the class with Rock’s earbud in her right ear and the sound of the heater in her left. 

She knows how much Nicky can hurt. She also knows she’s just another girl, just like Gigi, just like Jan, just like Jackie and Crystal. Just like all of those girls, the pain doesn’t last forever, even if you can let it. Neither of them really know Nicky, they don’t know if she laughs during horror movies or hates geography, or how much she really loves when she’s given the opportunity.

But Gigi also knows she’s hurt so many people in her life, so how can she judge Nicky for hurting her, without even knowing it?

Getting over her first love was a guessing game, but Gigi knows that guessing game well, now. 

Gigi thought getting over Crystal meant no longer hurting when she saw the redhead in the hallway, but that wasn’t it at all. Seeing Crystal still meant watching the snowfall in the park, like millions of film strips replaying, but the snow is melting, slowly, like the memories fade. 

The memories still hurt, but Gigi isn’t who she was, and Crystal isn’t the girl Gigi fell in love with.

The same will go for Jan and Jackie, and one day Jan will let Jackie go. 

Gigi laughs a little to herself. How the tables have turned.

* * *

The bells rings sooner than Gigi would have liked. She instantly misses that closeness with Rock as they pull away from each other to pack their bags, but the feeling goes away when she sees Rock, as she always is, at the doorway, waiting to walk with her to lunch.

Gigi takes her time packing her bag, even though she can see the girl rocking back and forth, as the other students filter out. It’s something she enjoys -even though she shouldn’t - making Rock nervous. Sometimes, she leans in a little too close, and other times she takes an extra minute or two neatly putting away each of her papers in her folders. 

She’s not Nicky, though, she tells herself, because, well... Rock makes her ache like one of those falling stars she sees once in a blue moon, wondering who she should or could be if she could wish on it. Rock texts her memes and words of affirmation when she needs it most, but doesn't text her when Gigi asks to be alone. She sings under her breath, even though she can't hold a tune to save her life, and goes on and on about her favorite things, letting her hands do the talking, leaving Gigi absolutely enamored. 

It's dangerous, she knows, to think like this. 

Rock lets out an obnoxious "finally" when Gigi maneuvers around the desks, earning herself a shove that she takes graciously, with that stupid, dorky smile still on her face.

It’s silent for a second as they walk down the hall. The silence nips at her, begging her to say one of the million things on her mind. “So… You know about Jackie and Nicky, too?”

“I’m not an idiot.” Rock’s laughing - that’s good, great even - but she keeps moving forward, her step never faltering. 

Gigi shrugs, pulling her book bag’s strap further up her shoulder. “I just… Jackie said, you… That you-”

“I’m over her, now,” is Rock’s quick response. There is no resignation or defensiveness - Rock looks genuinely unbothered.

Gigi bites her cheek, wondering how Rock’s steady gaze forward can be so endearing. She looks like a freshman, determined to not be late for fucking _lunch_ , but it makes Gigi want to be young again. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I mean. I don’t know,” Rock opens and closes her mouth several times, before finally sending a quick glance Gigi’s way. “I like someone else anyway.” She speeds through it, making it difficult for Gigi to understand at all, but once she does, she feels dread that needs to be pushed down immediately.

So she laughs, trying to disguise her bitterness. “Aw, Roxanne's got a big, gay crush?”

“A big, _lesbian_ crush,” Rock grins cheekily. “I’m not as repressed as you are.”

Rock is laughing again, but Gigi gapes, stopping in the middle of the hall. Clearly Rock doesn’t notice, because Gigi has to double her pace to catch up to her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Gigi outlines the crease in Rock’s brow when she finally turns to actually look at Gigi for more than a glance. “You’re - you’re a lesbian? Right?” 

Gigi stares at her for a moment. Then, she lets her eyes wander past Rock's eyes, and over her head, towards the steady stream of students surrounding them. Not a single set of eyes are on either of them, but she feels them, like rain pelting at her back. 

_“Because it’s you or everything else, Crystal.”_

Rock looks so naïve, so innocent, and so fucking beautiful under the shitty, fluorescent lights of the school hallway. The lights buzz, the hallways buzz, her heart is pounding. 

_“No one even knows you.”_

She straightens herself vertebrae by vertebrae, wondering how someone like Rock could be so transparent in these hallways to everyone around her, yet see right through Gigi.

_“You don’t know me.”_

Rock tilts her head, furrowing her brows while she waits. “Right?” 

_“You don’t know anything, Crystal.”_

“Yes. I’m - I’m gay.” 

She says it louder than she needs to, and finally, someone’s looking. 

Brita fucking Havea. Overly nice, overly determined, voice like a megaphone.

Perfect. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah well I liked this! So, I hope you like it, too! LOL


End file.
